Funerals vs. Celebrations of Life

It's interesting; funerals and celebrations of life have much in common, yet they often appear very different. Each is a ceremony; a gathering of people who share a common loss. It's just that one is more rooted in tradition, while the other is the result of recent changes in social values. But both serve to do three things:
  1. Help the bereaved family, and their community, publicly acknowledge the death of one of their own
  2. Support the grieving family by surrounding them with caring friends, co-workers, and neighbors
  3. Move the deceased from one social status to another
Yet they achieve those things in very different ways. First, let's take a closer look at what most of us commonly see as very traditional funerals.

The Funeral

It's not surprising funerals have been around for a very long time. Composed of three activities, the visitation, the funeral service, and the committal service, performed at the graveside; this funeral is the one we'd easily recognize from contemporary literature and film.

The Visitation

Held prior to the funeral, often the night before but sometimes on the same day, the visitation (or viewing) is a time when people come to support the family and, more importantly, pay their respects to the deceased. This often involves stepping up to the casket to view the body; either in the company of a member of the surviving family or on your own.

The Funeral Service

Commonly held in the funeral home or church, the traditional funeral service is led by an officiant of one kind or another; most commonly a pastor or the funeral director. This individual follows a very predictable funeral order of service which includes the singing of hymns; and invocations, Bible recitations, Scripture readings, and prayers led by the officiant.

The Committal Service

This takes place at the cemetery, after a slow and respectful automobile procession from the place where the funeral was held. The committal service ends when the casketed remains are lowered into the ground, and final prayers are said.
If you'd like to know more about the history of funerals in the United States, you may like to visit the website of the National Museum of Funeral History. But for now, it's enough to know that a funeral service traditionally has these three distinct components. Now let's look at a celebration of life service.

Celebrations of Life

Author Barbara Kingsolver, in her book The Poisonwood Bible, wrote “To live is to be marked. To live is to change, to acquire the words of a story, and that is the only celebration we mortals really know.” We think this reflection is at the heart of a celebration of life. While a funeral, as we've described it above, has more to do with the orderly and often spiritually-defined, a celebration-of-life is more concerned with telling the story of the deceased. Celebrations of life are just that: a time people come together more to celebrate the unique personality and achievements of the deceased than to merely witness or mark the change in their social status.

Celebrations of life are similar to memorial services, which can be described as a hybrid event: combining the flexibility of a celebration of life with many of the activities of a traditional funeral order-of-service.

There's more room for creativity in a celebration of life than a funeral. Since celebrations of life are commonly held after the individual's physical remains have been cared for through burial or cremation, there is much more time available to plan the event. And without doubt, this allows you to make better decisions about how you'd like to celebrate the life of someone you dearly loved.

Celebration of Life Ideas

Below we have provided some ideas and possibilities that you could incorporate into your celebration of life service. We hope these examples demonstrate the level of creativity you can include and how personalized you can make the ceremony.

The Sports Lover

If your loved one was a devoted sports fan of a particular team or avidly played a sport themselves, consider focusing the celebration of life around that team or sport. An idea

for this could be organizing a golf or baseball tournament in honour of your loved one, or even attending a game of their favourite team.

The Foodie

If your loved one enjoyed tasting or trying new recipes, you may want to consider organizing a dinner party that serves their favourite foods. The dinner party can be at someone’s home or at the deceased’s favourite restaurant. Family and friends can then feel connected to the deceased through the food that they loved, as well as being together to share stories and memories of their loved one.

The Charitable Person

In the event that your loved one was passionate about charity and giving back to the community, you could organize an event that also raises money for a cause that they were passionate about. The fundraiser can be an extravagant event or simply a casual party where people are encouraged to donate. After whichever event you decide on, the contributions can then be donated in the deceased’s name to live on as a memory of them.


Are You Undecided? Turn to Us.

We've got years of experience listening, brainstorming, and advising families how they can best pay tribute to a beloved family member. That means we're the perfect people to help you decide between a funeral and a celebration of  life. We'll explore your funeral service options with you in detail, taking all the time you need.

In the book Chocolat, by Joanne Harris, you'll find this fundamental truth: “Life is what you celebrate. All of it. Even its end.”  As funeral professionals we help families express reverence for life. Let us do that for your family. Call our funeral home to speak with a member of our staff.
Sources: 
  1. Barbara Kingsolver, The Poisonwood Bible 
  2. Joanne Harris, Chocolat
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